FILE M-003·S / RELIQUARY · STATION M-003
Shrine to
Testaverde
vincent frank testaverde · qb · the eternal sixteen
☩ K N E E L ☩
★ THE RELIC · 2001 TOPPS · #16 ★
enshrined · tap to read the back
CAREER STAT LINE · #16
v.f. testaverde · qb · brooklyn ny · 1987–2007
YDS46,233
TD275
INT267
SEASONS21
TEAMS7
HEISMAN'86
threw 275 TDs and 267 picks — the rarest of saints,
very nearly as generous to the enemy as to his own. 6th all-time in yards. retired at 44.
◆ SHRINE METRICS (UNOFFICIAL) ◆
demons knelt8 & counting
horde kneeling5 animated
candles lit2 eternal
statues cast1 $1.81M · real
helmet = ball1 seattle wept
colorblind ads1 tampa '88
topps rarityMINT
canonizedYES
▼ THE CONGREGATION KNEELS ▼
👹
Diablolord of terror
😈
Mephistolord of hatred
👺
Andarielmaiden of anguish
💀
Duriellord of pain
👿
Baallord of destruction
🐉
Wyrmpixelgeocities gif, 1998
👾
Gargbyteunder construction
🦇
Netscape Impbest viewed 800×600
▼ AND THE HORDE OF HELL ALSO KNEELS ▼
Fallenit hops, it praises
Fallen Shamanwill resurrect the rest
Skeletonrattles amen
Quill Ratbristles reverently
Gloamsparks in tongues
PILGRIMS WHO HAVE KNELT: 000000
▼ A VISITING DELEGATION FROM GOWANUS ▼
nine slime balls on pilgrimage from original.mobilesteamunit.com · they also kneel
☩ RELICS SCATTERED ACROSS THE NET ☩
THEY ARE CASTING HIM IN BRONZE →
a stranger gave the University of Miami $1.81 million and a life-size Vinny will now stand outside the football facility until the sun burns out. this is not a bit. this happened.
espn.com · the prophecy fulfilled
THE NIGHT A REFEREE MISTOOK HIS HELMET FOR THE BALL →
Dec 6, 1998: white helmet crosses the goal line, the brown football does not, the touchdown is granted anyway, Seattle is cast into the pit, and instant replay is resurrected to make sure it never happens again.
nfl.com · the phantom touchdown
“VINNY THINKS THIS IS ORANGE” →
a Tampa radio station once rented an actual billboard, painted it blue, and wrote that on it. 35 interceptions in a single season — second-most in the entire history of the sport. the saint contains multitudes.
wikipedia · the full legend
THE LEDGER OF THE ETERNAL SIXTEEN →
21 seasons. 7 teams. played until he was 44 years old. every yard, every pick, every meaningless Week 14 in a dome — the scripture, rendered in cold spreadsheet.
pro-football-reference · the cold ledger
the demons bow. the flame does not go out. side A of the Cranky reels bears his name.
play the hymn on the ▲ testaverde tape deck · return to the music division · full archive at bandcamp
play the hymn on the ▲ testaverde tape deck · return to the music division · full archive at bandcamp
◆ SHRINE ETERNALLY UNDER CONSTRUCTION ◆